An old saying goes: obedience is the mother of success. If you and your child are doing just what he likes, just play with him and walk with him to the movies, you never know, if he obeys you or not. Obedience is manifested only in those cases where a child is not interested in doing something, something you want him to do.
Obedience is a compliance with a law, request, or order, or submission to another’s authority.
You have not forgotten what a good child is? It is very simple: if tell your child to wash his hands – he just goes and washes them. If you remind him that it is time for his homework to be done – he stops running around and starts doing his lessons.
Whether you want your child to be obedient?
You certainly do. If your child is not listening to you, you are unable to perform your duties as a parent: you cannot ensure his safety, socialization and development. However, obedience (manageable, controllable, and educated child) is not the purpose of education, but a means. For what we want the child to become a manageable, controllable, and educated person? So it does not bother us? So it worked for us? To bring out a free, advanced, healthy person?
Discipline is the only a tool in the hands of parents. In the hands of bad parents, obedient children will be a caricature of children, obedient children near wise parents are the life luck and joy for all.
Unfortunately, there are not always enough wise parents, and there are more than enough parents seeking to make their lives easier and to raise children who do not bother them, as if they never existed. Probably for this reason, obedience in children evokes in many very cautious attitude and a strong desire in adults to make children obedient often gets the name hypersocial education.
The common thesis “obedient child cannot be independent” is not quite true. Reasonable parents want their child to be at once obedient and independent, and it can be done.
Attentive, warm and funny, and most importantly qualified parents may well get the child to obedience, while maintaining contact with him, developing his confidence and handing him a sense of the joy of life. An obedient child of reasonable parents, growing up, becoming an adult, independent, and creative person.
How to combine obedience (discipline) and the ability to think creatively and independently? It goes well, if the task was set. Procedure is as follows: if the parents said – child should first do this, and not to discuss. After it is done, if the child has questions or disagreement, he can and should discuss it with his parents, to have the maximum understanding. We need not blind, unthinking obedience, but a person who understands everything himself, a person with a strong rational thinking, able to weigh the pros and cons that can make intelligent decisions.
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