How do children react to the divorce of their parents? How can parents reduce the negative impact of divorce on their children? Divorce is a common thing nowadays. When a husband and wife understand that they cannot be together because of their incompatibility, they decide to live separately in their own households. Of course, this decision is smart and pondered. Nevertheless, there is a problem when a couple has a child. Children react to divorce negatively. I will focus on the effect of the official separation on the children of different age.
Many parents think that they should divorce in the most peaceful way in order to reduce their child’s stress. On the one hand, they are right. When a child sees that his parents are still friendly to each other, he will not be so shocked. On the other hand, this behavior will puzzle this child, because he will not understand the reason of the divorce. If the parents are still friendly towards each other, why do they divorce? This controversy can ruin the child’s worldview and values. In my opinion, parents should stay neutral towards each other in order to let the child know that they are independent people who have their own life.
When you want to analyze the effect of divorce on children, you should bear in mind that the reaction depends on their age. There are two main categories of children: the children up to nine and adolescents (up to 13). It does not worth mentioning that divorce changes the child’s lifestyle and worldview. A little child sees that his/her parents do not love each other and it will be a serious shock to him/her. When parents decide to live separately, the child’s worldview and priorities are ruined. The child does not understand the reason of these changes. He/she cannot understand why he/she can live only with one parent. The boy/girl will dream about the reunion of his/her parents. The child will work hard to reconcile his parents believing that it is possible.
The effects of divorce on little children are quite serious. This event causes harm to his/her psychology. Most often, children lose their self-esteem and feel helpless and dependable. Many children think that their parents divorced because of them. A child thinks that he is ill bred and bad; therefore, his father has decided to leave him. A child tries to understand the reason of this separation and looks for the answer in his own personality. It is interesting that a child becomes more dependable on his mother or father. He/she is afraid of losing the last parent. As a result, such children are unconfident, dependable and uncertain. They do not know how to behave in this situation. They go from one parent to another and they do not know how to share their love between a father and mother. When they grow up, they will hardly build their career actively and ambitiously. Divorce causes stress. Stress causes bed-wetting, anxieties and crying. A little child requires extra help and attention of his/her parent in order to cope with the fear of staying alone.
The effect of divorce on adolescents is different. Teenagers understand the reason of the official separation but their reaction to this event is very specific. Adolescents are very vulnerable. When they discover that their parents are going to divorce, they can become angry and rude. They can express their protest against both parents trying to stay alone. No wonder, such children become independent faster.
The impact of divorce on a child is negative, because it ruins his habitual lifestyle. The child does not know how to behave in the definite situations and how to treat both parents after separation. Divorce also causes numerous psychological problems. Vulnerable little children will have numerous problems, the fear of staying alone among them. Adolescents can become rebellious demonstrating their contempt towards both parents.
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